Recently, over the last day, I posted a question on FetLife in my Sadists and Masochists group:
This is something I said quite a while ago, but I yet believe it to be true:
'Masochism is not just about receiving pain. But, rather, instead, it is about understanding the nature of the whimpering, desperate female tearfully begging for it.'
(Please insert male or female as applies)
Do you agree, or disagree with this statement, and why?
What might you add to this statement?
I'm curious as to your responses.
I received quite a few responses. Most, negative, but I thought this would be an interesting post to add in here to my blog, and as a result, as well, my response after letting quite a few people get in their opinions. This is what I said:
I've read most of the responses here. Some were quite well written, others not so much. But in each it seemed an opinion was formed, and passed on, and that's exactly what I was looking to see.
It seems that as a result, the majority disagree. So, let me tell you why I agree with the statement I made a long time ago, and what was meant by it.
In almost every experience at the hands of a sadist, I can mark off the progression into the scene. At first, I will be a bit hesitant; not certain how it will unfold. The sadist will take control of the situation, using the implements he desires, and how he desires to use them. The first response I often have to pain, is a defiant, challenging attitude - I want to see how much he can inflict, and conversely, I want to see how much pain I can take. As the pain increases, it becomes an exchange between the two of us; he pushes me, I push him, he pushes me, I push myself. Back and forth and so on, and so forth. During this exchange, I don't hold back. I am not an easy female to either handle, or control. I will resist. I will fight back. I will push the sadist mentally and physically as hard as I push myself.
Power, is my ultimate goal as a masochist. Power over the situation, the pain, and as a result, myself. There comes a point in some of those exact situations after we have progressed to this little dance between the two of us, where the pain is so intense, so perfectly, deliciously intimate, that every shred of power and control I thought I had slips from my hands into his. I am no longer the one in control; he is. I then know, and admit that I never really was in control to begin with. Instead, it was very much an illusion of sorts; I only hold the power I have, to get to the point where I can effectively let go of it.
It is that precise point, of which I refer to in my original quote. When I have stopped resisting, struggling, and fighting back. When my pride, arrogance, and dignity are stripped from me and what is left, is a pitiful, tearful female begging and pleading for more pain because I am no longer trying to convince either of us that I have the control. I have been in that place within myself a few times. I have felt and known the exact moment when I gave over to the sadist, that precious and tightly held restraint which I was certain, was mine and would remain so. It is in those moments where I would say anything, do anything, be anything for more pain and he knows it. And remarkably, interestingly, it is at that point where the sadist stops.
It is that state of being that I want to eventually understand.
Feel free to comment as you will.
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4 comments:
Thank you so very much for the careful thought you've given to this subject. For years I've joked that I'm a masochist. But only recently, when faced with compassionate, kind-hearted tramplers who cannot compartmentalize and therefore get into this so-called 'sanctioned brutality,' it has made me begin to wonder why I need this. Really, why do I need the pain and violence? Why, when I am usually such a 'control freak,' do I delight so much in giving up all control-- with intense fear and arousal-- at the idea of laying private parts of me out, helpless and vulnerable, for torture and (temporary) destruction before a particular-shod woman? Why do I experience those hyper-intense feelings of peacefulness and soaring elation that follow such a session? Is it something about myself that I should merely accept? Or is it some pathological issue that needs psychiatric treatment? Overall, I'm happy with myself, content, except where my need for pain is concerned. And discovering your blog, reading your thoughts, has stimulated my own thinking, and is helping me to begin to understand myself and my condition a little more. Again, I'm grateful.
Beautifully said, eloquent, and focused. Plan to return often.
Thank you, Dave and Ronnie. I appreciate the fact that you both took the time to respond and leave a comment.
I have been researching masochism and submission lately and came across your blog. Your latest article truly captures a magnetizing experience and it's very poignantly written. I'm a younger female just beginning to explore masochism in association with submission, and not finding too much other than science on the internet. I've explored both to a degree in reality, but my current partner is hesitant to cross certain lines. If you have some time, I was wondering: have you noticed a connection between control in life and submission/masochism during sex? It seems like the only place I can really let go of the intense control I perpetually hold is in the bedroom. I would describe the euphoria that occurs after as the same as an adrenaline high for thrill seekers. This has just gotten to the point where seeking other's advice is the next logical step. It's nice to know you're not alone. I'm now on fetlife, under this username if you have any interest in talking. Thanks :)
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